Ha. Loser.

Have you ever been in love? Like, I mean really in love. Like, the kind of love you feel with every breath you take; you feel it your finger tips; you feel it in your hooves—which is fucked because that’s just weird bone shit, without nerve endings, or whatever.

Anyways, I’ve been thinking about love a lot because I have a lot of feelings. Recently these feelings have been pretty wild. Not like wild horses-wild, ‘cause I hate that shit. But really wild. Like, dark, and scary. So yeah, I was in love like that once. With a unicorn. I knew she was it, she was perfect, from horn to hump. But I was too much man for her. No like, literally, too much man, she left me for a mustang.

Things were really rough for a while. The kind of rough where your sheets feel like sandpaper (I don’t sleep in sheets, but that sounds totally wack, right?). You can’t eat. You break your bow across your own hocks just to like, feel something other than the pain that sits in the pit of your stomach.

Anyways, yeah, dark. But then you start to think: “It’s gotta get better.” It takes a while, but you pull yourself out of a pile of your own manure (you haven’t been able to clean your stall since she left) and you think: “There are plenty of unicorns out there!”

…Except there literally aren’t. Remember? So fuck love.

Pussy.

Fuck this movie for real.

I thought I was loved like that once, but instead I was just cast away and thrown my bow and my arrow and left for dead in Ikea.

Thank God for $1 hotdogs.

I am so over this.

Hi guys,

Centaur here. It’s been a rough couple of months, and to be honest, I am just so over keeping my thoughts to myself.

I am a Centaur, plain as day, and I have just as much right to blog as any of you. I’m not here to make friends. I’m not here to make enemies. I just want to blog. After all, these are my thoughts, this is my life, and these are my hooves. And unless you’re prepared to walk a mile on them, then maybe just log off already because I’ve got two working hands and I am not afraid to use them on this keyboard to tell you what I really think.

But I don’t mean to be confrontational - I’m just being me. I’m just a Centaur, standing in front of a stable, asking it if there’s vacancy.

But that’s enough negativity for a day. Traffic was rough today and my tail needs a proper brushing. Plus, I’ve got a lot of ironing to do, and this newsboy hat’s just not going to starch itself.

Talk soon,

Centy

How fucking dare you.